🦋 It's Raihana & no one else 🦋

 30th. November 2024. Hi it's me again after so long, quite feeling sandwiched in wanting to write this entry in Malay, for the other day was like a message from God that my mom quoted a piece of Malay poem to me on the day of my convocation and I was so drown into finding its meaning and yep the meaning did find and found me. It somehow slapped me right on my face bdjsjsjd but oh well I still want to write here in English just so anyone can read in case I wouldn't be able to read and even remember the bittersweet memoir of my life. :) The poem sounds like this; Rumah kecil tiangnya seribu, rumah besar tiangnya satu.  When you do your searchings you might find out various of interpretations but for me, the line somehow tells that when I was little I have my mom as my pillar, and she alone can be my thousand pillars. But now when I'm getting older and wiser, occupied with hell tons of responsibilities, I'm gonna go thru everything alone. And me alone is as weak as one pi...

 Dan jasa Seorang tentera Selamanya dikenang Bila tak pulang -R, 22; Apa nilainya darah setitik? Apa nilainya nyawa?  

Bagai rumah usang Seorang lelaki tua Duduk di hujung ruang Matanya ada laut Jauh kulayar perasaanya  Rentasan tidak berpenghujung Madahnya saja puisi Yang mengisi dan bererti Didahinya tercoret Garisan sejarah  Rupa usia yang dijajah Kepalanya gedung ilmu Pandangannya menyapa aku Tentang alasan Susahnya membaca buku -R, 22; siapa aku? 

 Aug 12th, 2024, 2101.  Hi readers, it's me again after quite a long time. I have no idea why but I'm so scared to write as it has been a while I didn't write. I'm just afraid I might sound stupid but if I keep on waiting then nothing's gonna change :)  I'm currently having my 3rd week of being jobless, useless fresh grad. Laying in the living room, binge watching love classics on Netflix - I might be so proud to express that The Notebook  will be my all time favorite!!!! I cried a lot and wonder how I got nailed to every plot, but the movie is just so relatable as hell. I'm not talking about the difference between statuses, but the lenses of both genders perceiving the love itself is just excellent and truly impactful. Yep, now everyone might think I'm so comfortable staying in my crib instead of setting my wings to fly out there, finding jobs or to fulfill my fate as previously got architecturally tortured. Thank you people for being typical minded hum...

kuharap hujan  takkan berhenti hangatnya teduhan  bila kau disini kuharap hujan jangan berhenti hangatnya teduhan meski kau pergi kuharap hujan jangan berhenti hilang rasa teduh  hilang rasa engkau - R, 22; hujan masih belum berhenti, teduhnya masih ada

  In Gaza  The seeds are buried In heaven The flowers bloom -R, 22; world is the distance

  Run my lips On your neck And my fingers Through your hair Your eyes cannot be Anywhere else But in mine - R, 22; knowing that we don't have to say it to each other ...

  Pahitnya masa lalu Aku telan Agar sedar diri  Manisnya hari ini - R, 22.

  Rahsia yang aku bisik lebih sebaarang kenalan Alangkah baik jika gurauan aku kau perasan - R, 21; tangisan dalam gurauan, teguran dalam senyuman.

  27/6/2023, Selasa.  Perkara yang kau beritahu tidak begitu lagi Bukan fotografi Tapi masih kedai kopi - R, 21; Hari berat

  Bisa kau Kukudap Dendam kucangkeram Erat dalam malam Kumuntahkan madahnya Sebatang sungai berkaca Hening diludahnya warna Warna sebenar aku -pun sama Sama yang berbeza -R, 22; sesal tiada pasal

dan  lembaran ini  kekal kosong penaku sombong asyik mataku menjenguk purnama  yang warnanya yang terangnya dan lembaran ini kekal kosong penaku sombong asyik mataku menjenguk purnama  yang warnanya  yang terangnya dan  lembaran ini  kekal kosong penaku sombong asyik mataku menjenguk purnama  yang warnanya yang terangnya dan  lembaran ini kekal kosong dan  lembaran ini sudah penuh penuh engkau! -R, 21; kehadapan 'Ahmad'

bagai ada sesuatu yang merindu datang  dan dakap diri ini kemudian pergi apa mungkin aku sudah bukan warga rumah lagi? -R, 22; 3 febuari 2024. 

  i am  a polyglot of none but everything has become "you" -R, 21; the language