🦋 It's Raihana & no one else 🦋

  terima kasih untuk setiap darimu akanku hargai  setiap satu walau kekecewaan pun juga pemberian  -R, 20; hadiah seluruhnya. 

  jika diajak kembali ke kedai kopi mahukah engkau berborak memori dan hujungnya kita jadikan kita? -R,20; cerita yang aku janjikan

  mungkin nanti lagu  yang pernah kau beritahu akanku nyanyikan bersama tangisan di tepi bucu katil sambil kufikirkan alangkah indahnya jika kita dahulu mengatakan  apa yang kita maksudkan - R,20; "akanku tunggu esok"

  and everything echoes the song of your existence -R,20; funny how things will never change

 27th June 2022.  So I have this little secret I hid, deepest in my heart; Something of its truth I won't admit, but poison is never meant to be kept. - My insecurity.  For all these years of living, it's quite shocking to say that I have been thinking of suicide so much for this semester. Nobody knows, how hard for me to cope with everything, and it's even funnier when people described me as "problemless" - quite a compliment for me for being hell good at camouflaging the flaws.  There were times I wished to be killed during my sleep, for somebody to suddenly come and stab my back during my prayer. I sometimes lusted to fall sick and to have the most beastly disease on earth and die. I just hate of living. I don't want to meet anyone.  I have no idea where of all these are coming from, I did everything - from turning on the Ruqyah for myself, to have some emails from Malaysian government of mental health careline.. I even had spilling session with somewhat ...

  to every story good or bad poems and cats and the things we could have had it will always different color ahead -R, 20; no more yesterday once more

  though the skies  had weep at its worst for at least the flower had once bloom at its proudest - R, 20; I was there.