poem: i'm lost by Me.

you dont have to care if you dont :)

20th Dec 2022. Dear all, This is going to be a quite friendly reminder and somewhat indirect letter which means I tried as best as I could to not offend anyone with my words. For those who find me interesting, thank you. For those who are willing to be there when I need you, thank you. For those who accept me for who & what I am, thank you. I seriously have nothing in the world to compare with your kindness. All I could do is to pray and ask Allah to grant each of you His highest jannah and I promise you, I won't be selfish. You will have my back for the rest of your life. I'm not going to stop appreciating you in everything I do, I have achieved, for those are the things that makes difficulty feels lots better. I am legit nobody. I humbly know how pathetic the level of knowledge I'm currently at and I don't ask anyone to praise me the way I don't deserve. If you don't like me, feel free to feel so. Don't feel burdened just because others seem to pat...

🎂 bday countdown~

4 sept 2021, sat. 3 hours left before my birthday: honestly, as I grow up, the excitement of celebrating birthday started to fade slowly and instead of hoping for scrumptious birthday cake from my loved ones, I'll take my 1st step to spend my money on them. wouldn't that be better, to spend on something that can last be a man's mudghah? last year, I spent my birthday at campus and how pathetic that I didn't really make friends with anybody else because we just enrolled the campus on the early August- so what to expect in just a month to have somebody wishing for you? hence I just bought some waffles using my money (yea I looked so lonely hahahaha) and then distribute it to my close fellas. also, I got some sweet wishes via social medias and that's how last year went. this year, I was planning to just order something from KFC for I've been craving this since I was in campus. plus, my mum and I just finished rearrange the furniture in our rooms thus there's ...

How to get rid of the pain while being injected! 💉💣 theory confirmed 😆

{ ١٩.٨.٢٠١٧ ، يوم السبت } Assalamualaikum w.b.t. 😀 so this year i'm 15 and the last injection i get is when i'm 15. 😇 so, when the due date is just around the corner... and your friends and seniors and teachers be like " 👿 ", they told you that the injection was " argh! " and the most painful injection ever! 💀👀 and you be like " argh " too. and came out the famous story of injection; that the needle is recycled one.. they use and reuse it.. so to make sure that it is cl3an from any dangerous type of organisms, they put the needle on fire so that the organisms are all dead. so pretty scary huh? you know,, a few days before injection, i was like I WANNA GET OUT OF SCHOOL. 🚶🏻💨 And i was planning when it is my turn I REALLY WANT TO RUN AWAY. AND I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE MY UMI AND PAPA WILL JUST MAD AT ME for days BUT NOT FOREVER. AND TEACHERS WILL DEFINITELY LABELED ME AS the CHEEKIEST STUDENT EVER. 🐒 but that's fine to me for at lea...

Larangan mencemuh dan mencela kaum lain..

Allah berfirman dalam surah Al Hujurat, ayat 11; " Wahai orang yang beriman! Jangalah suatu kaum lelaki mencemuh suatu kaum lelaki yang lain, kerana boleh jadi mereka (yang dicemuh) itu LEBIH BAIK dari mereka yang mencemuh dan jangan pula perempuan-perempuan mencemuh perempuan yang lain (kerana) boleh jadi, perempuan yang dicemuh itu lebih baik daripada perempuan (yang mencemuh). Janganlah kamu saling mencela antara 1 sama lain dan janganlah saling MEMANGGIL dengan GELARAN-GELARAN BURUK. seburuk-seburuk panggilan adalah (panggilan) yang buruk ( fasik ) setelah beriman. Dan barangsiapa yang tidk bertaubat, maka mereka itulah orang yang zalim." *panggilan yang buruk ialah gelaran2 yang tidak disukai oleh orang yang digelarnya dengan gelaran itu seperti panggilan kpd org yang sudah beriman dgn kata2 : hai Fasik, hai fakir miskin & sebagainya. Allah berfirman dalam surah al Hujurat ayat 12; Wahai orang yang beriman! Jauhilah prasangka, sesungguhnya sebahagian drpd prasan...

Insecurity-

27th June 2022. So I have this little secret I hid, deepest in my heart; Something of its truth I won't admit, but poison is never meant to be kept. - My insecurity. For all these years of living, it's quite shocking to say that I have been thinking of suicide so much for this semester. Nobody knows, how hard for me to cope with everything, and it's even funnier when people described me as "problemless" - quite a compliment for me for being hell good at camouflaging the flaws. There were times I wished to be killed during my sleep, for somebody to suddenly come and stab my back during my prayer. I sometimes lusted to fall sick and to have the most beastly disease on earth and die. I just hate of living. I don't want to meet anyone. I have no idea where of all these are coming from, I did everything - from turning on the Ruqyah for myself, to have some emails from Malaysian government of mental health careline.. I even had spilling session with somewhat ...

Ugly hand writing. 📝 -motivational entry (...i guess😗)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. 😄 Salam Ramadhan to all of you. ('all' seem so many readers 😂😂 since i know how many people read my blog. 😆 more info, read the latest entry! 🙋) so it's 3: 46 AM (now i just wait for Sahoor 😗). everyone is sleepin. and i don't know how long can papa's/rania's phone hotspot can hold on.. (the battery drains very fast.) i don't have any credits in my phone since this year i have a big examination. so i take this FREE time to improve, change myself. i watched videos about hijabs, language,. from there i watched the attitude, behaviour, how's they react , etc. being honest, i still cannot found what i seek. i mean i do found it but it is just not enough. 🙍 then my brain told me that my hand writing is ugly. well to be a great muslimah, a leader, we should have a beautiful hand writing. this made me remember something.. when i told my friend, Maryam that my hand writing is super duper ugly and i mean it's beautiful. ...

🦋 It's Raihana & no one else 🦋

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