Skip to main content

Deep in my heart.

 1st May 2021,

Ramadan ke 19 i guess. 


I'm currently having a cup of Teh Tarik i got free of charge from bazaar. I'm also in the middle of collecting energy to cut the model board for i hate my previous serial plane model, so i have to redo it 😭


*no photo due to stupid line, coverage, website ughhhhhhhh IM SO NOT IN THE MOOD. 


U might be surprised with this entry, seriously. Because tonight I'm going to write something i never wrote before. 🙂

To be frank with all of you, i was hoping that semester 3 will be veeeeeery friendly, very nice to me. I had my grades on previous semesters of core archi subjects where i got B+ for Graphic Communication and B- for Freehand Drawing. Despite all exceptional As i got for ICT, Maths for Built Environments, Understanding Islam and Presentation Skillz, B+s for Statistics and Built Environments, i still don't managed to get in the Dean's List.


YES, BECAUSE OF THE CORE ARCHI SUBJECTS. TAKE MY WORDS THAT I'M SO BAD AT DRAWINGS, PAINTINGS AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. 😭 I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE HELL TO RENDER THINGS TO LOOK 3D LIKE I REALLY DON'T SEE THE WAY YOU GUYS SEE IT. 😭😭😭 I DO FEEL SO PATHETIC ABOUT MYSELF LIKE WHAT ELSE IN THE WORLD IM GOOD AT 😭😭 DAMN I WANNA DO SOMETHING ELSE. 


In semester 3, we have Design. And i liked it at the first place but guess who is the real fool here hehe? 


I thought i can handle the project 2 for my idea is quite brilliant to make the Blue Pansy Butterfly as my concept. I drew them the butterfly roof (translated from my useless head!!), solar panels, and even rendered the butterfly so realistic!!! I also came out with the idea to make butterfly pupa inspired serial plane and it turned out DISASTER. The substraction and addition and all shits of degradation didn't work out for my model. They look stupid, trash and anything despicable human being can ever thought of. 😭


Since we already submitted the project 2, i really have to sacrifice my sleep time to re- touch the serial plane model before i go for Project 2 (c). Everyone knows how harder and more complicated the task could be as it changes. World needs to remind me that I can't just give up like that, this semester has to go with me and not againts me. 😭 i really have to succeed this semester. I have to prove it to everyone that i can excel this foundation so i can go for Quantity Surveying in degree later. I don't think i have the strength to pursue in Architecture  nor Landscape Archi nor Urban Planning nor Art and Design. 🤕 I'd rather do maths quizzes during my sleep with my eyes closed than to crush my brain for ideas and break my fingers to make models. 


As for my parents, i will make you guys proud of my achievement. I'm sorry if I'm not the daughter y'all wished for. But trust me I'm trying my best. 


Good night world. Dont be too gentle to yourself. Live the life at its fullest. Focus on your goals and make your parents happy. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being a mascot 👽

11 feb 2017, Saturday { esok sukan }. ~11.01 pm~ assalamualaikum w.b.t, good nite  !! 😀💜 so how are you? me, i'm just fine about 2 hours ago but just now i feel nervous for tomorrow.. SUKAN ! 🏀⚽🎾🎽🏃🗽🚸❌✔ no, i'm not scared to sukan.. but perbarisan.. cikgu said i'm going to be a mascot for our team. (team? haha can't figured the perfect word than 'team'. 😩) and guess what? i'm going to be ADUDU tomorrow!!  * that green creature is Adudu. * *one of Adudu's species, Bagogo, a businessGREENCREATURE { i thought so 😂 }* for those who don't know Adudu, he's a character from Malay Action Cartoon Series, BOBOIBOY. he's an alien. 👽 (for you who don't know about this series, better watch now on youtube. it was totally amazing, i love this series so much! ❤) * Adudu's ex-classmate, Ijojo. dia jahat~* So dalam perbarisan nanti, i yang depaaaan sekali. wearing Adudu mascot. but more surprising, MY TEACHER MAKE THE MASCO...
1 comment
Read more

Secantik mahkluk, puisi.

  JANTUNGKU BAGAI TERHENTI SEKETIKA MELIHAT BAYANGANNYA SIAPAKAH LELAKI INI? KURNIAAN TUHAN DARI SYURGA? FIKIRKU SEJENAK HATIKU MERONTA MAHUKU DIA DISINI NAMUN PANTASNYA HANYA DICAKRAWALA BAGAIMANA BISA AKU MENDAKAPNYA ERAT LAGI KALAU BUKAN  DARI DALAM HATI - R, 19, dekat tapi jauh :)
Post a Comment
Read more

Jarum Peniti Atiqa.

masa tu Atiqa nak ambik wudhuk, so, dia suruh saya jagakan jarum peniti yg dia cocok dekat kepala dia. saya pun jaga. saya main cucuk2 dekat keychain dia.. saya tak tahu lah tangan saya ni gatal sangat, saya pergi cucuk sampai jarum tu 100% masuk kat dlm keychain tu. lepastu atiqa pon dtg.  dia tanya " Raihana Shamsol, mana kita punye jarum ??? " . saya balas dgn " hahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahaha". 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 dia ckp " ckplah betol2! " saya pun ckp sambil ketawa, " dekat keychain pencil box awakk. 😂😂 " dia check," tak de pon?" saya pon ckp " dekat dlm keychain awak!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha 😂😂😂 " dia teros tekejut. dia ckp mcm manaaaa...... saya ckp keluar kan je lah. lepastu last2 pun dh keluar. hahaha. [hashtag] SAYA SUKA KACAU ATIQA MARIZZA😂😂
3 comments
Read more

making gold 🌛

 yolo it's already day 3 of me not updating anything on my what'sapp, I used to make status every single day, just to you know, to inform my loved ones about my condition, share the things I do etc etc. I don't know but I kinda started to feel like I lost myself just to please other people. mana tak nya, I myself genuinely express my big heart yet some of them take this for granted.  Even more disgusting is when I feel judged, ill-watched & envied. yo, I don't usually do this to all people except for my close friends so be sure to count you blessing to be in my circle.  i know taking advices from our surroundings is good thing but it's not a good thing man to be asked to be somebody else. oh well, I don't really love to talk much because we've known enough how people these days hate reading.  actually I just want to write here that my birthday will be on this Sunday so I wonder does my crush knows about it or maybe... is he going to do something spectacu...
Post a Comment
Read more

Hari nii 🙌 part 2 ~

ok, so masa utk baliik 🙌🙌 the happiest moment for student like Meeee  😋 ngeh. paling exited, sbb nk TERUS pergi RUMAH nenek 👵 (belah mak) (p/s : kitaorg panggil nenek ni Nenek " dikco " - and i have nooo idea why we called her  like that 😂. guh ms dlm perjalanan, kitaorg LAPAR yg teramaaatt sgt !! 😧😧 so, kitaorg singgah kedai makan kawan umi. nama nye ( Budi X Café ) - Budi tu lah kwn sekolah umi 😊. sy order nasi kosong + ayam 🐓 masak merah, rania 👧 : nasi grg pataya, cika 👩 : sama mcm Rania, umi share dgn Harraz : Mee goreng (yg kaler coklet tuu) 🍝. semasa menunggu, ada lah jugak org lain makan kat situ, then Rania pusingkan kepala aku sambil ckp : cayang!! tgk org tu pakai baju Frozen warna pepel 😱😱😱 ". adoi, dh lah dia ckp kuat2, lepastu org tu pandaaang lelaki  👨. 😁 hahah. lepas dh makan, kitaorg pn singgah umah nenek. 👵 kitaorg beraya rumah " Abg Sepul " -sbb mak aku yg panggil camtu 😊. rupa2nye adik dia satu sekolah dgn mak akuu ki...
Post a Comment
Read more