genuine, a poem

"I will be here..."

said the moon

you are always up there, mister

and yet

between us

not anything near

-R, 19; stepping the reality

*disclaimer: you might not really get the meaning of not anything near in stanza 2; well, to make it clear a bit, usually we say 2 km far, 5 meters apart, 1000 light years etc. but in this poem, it wants to express that there's no specific measurements for the distance between the persona and the mr moon, alias TOO FAR that it can't even be measured!

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As reckless as I could.

26 October 2022, padre's birthday. \\ It's vital for you to turn on Peterpan's Mungkin Nanti before indulging into this entry// Currently having my time, though I have tons to be think of; 1. Heritage, since I am one of the group leaders. It's never sounds easy to handle 25 people to go oversea ya know. 2. Design, I did some research about our upcoming furniture project for RnR before asr today and cant wait to vomit the idea on butter paper trrow. And 1 last thing is the stupid folder I need to prepare for Journalism Club (clap hands everyone) for we'll be having a workshop soon this Saturday but I'm planning to ask the program manager trrow night, REHEARSAL. I know I often prioritize my schedule but there's always reason why things were so better back then., maybe because I wrote a lot. So indeed I am here because I am in need of this, I have to write this story. From my previous post where I spilled there was this one guy who likes me, now let me tell ...

and there we go again..

November 17, 2022. And there we go again, quarreling about the school-break. I feel sick every time I knew that I won't be able enjoy the holiday I deserve like everyone else. Kau bayangkanla harini cuti untuk PRU-15 sampai Isnin next week, and aku masih lagi mereput kat uia ni - Kalau boleh, Sabtu nanti je baru balik tu pun agaknya kalau possible balik hari ke uia, memang aku balik semata mengundi and sambung suffering kat kampus. Lagi aku geram, ofc la aku budak architecture ni takde maknanya balik right on time, mesti kena awal sehari sebab kitaorg ada model lagi tak setel. haaa ni aku nak mengamuk jugak kalau dah balik awal nanti progress masih lembap and masih mengemis extension. dah la next week ada baki 4 hari je before mid sem break. so ada baki 3 hari buat model, hari keempat tu presentation. tapi in between tu juga bukan hadap design je, subject lain pun nak submission jugak. Pastu mid sem yang patutnya cuti 10 hari starting on 26th of November, boleh pulakkkk dior...

PMS never felt this awful.

March 25th. One thing that no one will ever ask, but tonight sounds so melancholic, with my ears now stuffed with " Melancholy" from Spotify. Life is currently so sad. I am alone - with realisation of that particular one who might accept me more than I do to myself? But what am I doing now? Break his heart is the only specialty I'm good at. I slowly noticed how some faces are just masks they put on. Yet you are to spare forgiveness and acceptance for them as it's part of their "survival". I hate it when people mock my opinion and don't take my words seriously. I am exhausted of being selfless for those who dont even know how to appreciate. I am burning out, for too tightly holding on to myself and the things they considered as dignity and pride. I want cry my heart out when they told me they have spaghetti, and I was all starved for it, but then they ate it without any guilts. I feel bad, when that one old lecturer who favours me fell sick because I...

got offer letter for degree!?

jum'ah barakah, 17th September 2021 - the day after tomorrow will be Zuzu's birthday. while yesterday was her love life's, Tengku Hassanal Ibrahim Alam Shah of Pahang. 😝 it's nearly 2 weeks since I got my degree offer letter, YESSSS ALHAMDULILLAH HAHAHAHA I finally got invited to experience another 4-days-straight of sleepless nights (looking for a longer period 💓), another more days to puasa suddenly (submission days are always exhausting that I'll fall asleep right after the deadline until maghrib XD) and to more and more of rejection and "BURUKKKK" from mon lecturers 😄 (since i wasn't born to draw but i WILL in shaa allah, we'll see 😏). if you followed my previous story about me being so dramatic about what i want to pursue in degree, i mentioned that i wanted to go for QUANTITY SURVEYING so so bad. -definitely a decision to make after my ideas got rejected so many times, i was compared to other people a lot (direct & indirect way) and ...

Tiqa Tertipu 😂🐒

kisah Alieah & Atiqa, Alieah Atikah. 😂 khamis, 17 nov. 6.35 pm. 🎆 just about, TODAY,! Alieah & Atiqa buat lawak. 😂😂😂 ceritanya... bermula di wechat. 🐢 (simbol wicet takade, kura2 pun bolehh) 😂. kita baru bangun tidur masa tu..🐼 HAHAHAH. alang2 nak bagi tahu, nak cerita sekali macam mana aku boleh tido waktu petang. 😹 boleh ye? boleh? kalau boleh, kita cerita.. kalau x boleh pun,, kita cerita gak! 🐻 SMIK dah cuti, cuma ketentuan Allah, kitaorg masih sekolah lagi. 🏬 cuma setengah hari jer. 🏄 lepastu tadi, kita x berapa sihat! 😨 serious weh, rasa mcm isi perut ni nak terkeluar ikut mulut 😅. sakit. rasa nk muntah pun ada. lepastu panas kan, mmg pening lah kepala. terhuyung hayang jalan. (apa kena aku cerita benda2 camni kat blog ni😂) ha. senang cakap tak sihat so tadi tetidur. 🌃 okey. bukak2 wechat je, Atiqa buat moment.🍪 Atiqa cakap yg ada org (dr kelas kitaorg) call dia cakap yg atiqa calarkan kereta dia . 😂😂😂 lepastu Atiqa kata lah dah lah dia x dtg, ...

Kucing Asmak.. 🐱🐈

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁😁😁hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!! 📼📼📼📼📼📼 Pls Stand By📼📼📼📼📼📼 Asma' Athirah bt. Ismail, sahabat saya dari sek rendah lagi. 👭 sekarang kami form 2. 😊 Asmak ada membela seekor anak kucing 🐈 yang dijumpai barhampiran kelas kami. Asmak menamakannya " N G I Y O ". 😂 hohoho lawak lah nama nya!!.. 😂 Asmak sangat sayang kucing tersebut. 💓 Kadang2 Asma DATANG LAMBAT 🕗 ke sekolah sbb basuh KENCING & BERAK Ngiyo. almaklumlah, anak kucing mana pandai berak kat toilet. mesti berak kat katil . 😁 Pada beberapa hari yang lalu, Asmak membawa Ngiyo bersama kesekolah kerana Zahra telah minta Asmak supaya membawa Ngiyo ke sekolah. Tiba saja di sekolah, fuhhh!! 🚴🚴🚴 berpusu2 kami nak "cepuk" Ngiyo. 😂 kesian Ngiyo, dtg2 je dh ramai yg kerumun. form 3, form 4 pun sama gak! Takut lah Ngiyo nyer! 😰 sifat Ngiyo yang dicerita oleh Asmak kepadaku apabila dirumah sgt lain dilihat oleh ku di sekolah. 😐 dia...

🦋 It's Raihana & no one else 🦋

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