orientation week

 27 sept 2021; lagi 2 hari nak bday 2 onyet favourite saya HAHAHAHAHA. sekarang dah pukul 2.59 am, and I feel so fresh sbb baru jek bangun, dah tidur dah lepas isyak tadi hehehe. 

shall we start the entry- 

so I just woke up from my deep sleep, I went ahead open up my phone just like everyone else does hahahaha and read all messages. I don't know why but my what'sapp is always filled with new messages EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. I suddenly remembered my room mate said that "Raihana is a businessman whenever she wakes up, always with her phone replying all questions and hells there. " 😂😂😂😂😂

however that doesn't really matter, but I stopped at Farina's text that she sent me a name list of our groupings for orientation week- Yep, we are currently on orientation for our degree and I've never felt this indifferent and reluctant. despite the event is fully held online, I still force my little mind to work on a plan to escape all these. contrary to when I was in foundation, I don't think there is any memory where I hate to indulge and get blend with new friends. 

well done, IIUM; the name list is somehow has power to take control over me though, I don't wanna feel irresponsible for doing no contribution to my group so--- again, do I really have to join the program? 😂 

how I  hope there will be a doctor reading this entry and bother to tell me what disease I'm currently having because it was never fun to have anxiety attacking you from every corner. 😔😔 I guess, that all my close friends are taking different courses now I am somewhat lonely, and I've been predicting how worse it could get as everyone grows older, they tend to not make friends anymore. 

oh well, for the 100th time rereading this, I think God just rained me a tiny drop of comfort from above hahahahaha alhamdulillah; what was so hard before, I just need to seek a bit confidence and always aim the best. if I do best, I don't need anyone for I can stand up on my own HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😩✨

 

well I think that's it, writing really helps me a lot in coping my insecurities, and I think you should have a cup of it too today, hehe. to Raihana in the future, I know you'll be just fine like always, so stop being too worried and dramatic 😑. you're gonna do good in Shaa Allah.nail the first impression ok hahaha

" today's yours." -Raihana 20/21.