jum'ah barakah, 17th September 2021 - the day after tomorrow will be Zuzu's birthday. while yesterday was her love life's, Tengku Hassanal Ibrahim Alam Shah of Pahang. 😝
it's nearly 2 weeks since I got my degree offer letter, YESSSS ALHAMDULILLAH HAHAHAHA I finally got invited to experience another 4-days-straight of sleepless nights (looking for a longer period 💓), another more days to puasa suddenly (submission days are always exhausting that I'll fall asleep right after the deadline until maghrib XD) and to more and more of rejection and "BURUKKKK" from mon lecturers 😄 (since i wasn't born to draw but i WILL in shaa allah, we'll see 😏).
if you followed my previous story about me being so dramatic about what i want to pursue in degree, i mentioned that i wanted to go for QUANTITY SURVEYING so so bad. -definitely a decision to make after my ideas got rejected so many times, i was compared to other people a lot (direct & indirect way) and i felt like i didn't do things at its best-and it always gone like that.
i am not of those cry babies whenever i got life problems, but it is sooo undeniable if i say i didn't cry during my foundation XD. Arina has a gallery of my crying selfies in her room, you know 🤣🤣🤣.
hence, my genius brain thought that more of maths sprinkled with a bit of engineering may worked for me since numbers and formulas are my best breakfast. but then..
yeaa thank you, thank you (with the knowledge of you guys will probably congratulate me) 😜. alhamdulillah, got my 1st choice. I prayed to God to place me in somewhere I could survive, and He gave me this. 😊 like the professors at the university can just reject my architecture portfolios that easy, or they can just burn down their computers and curse their eyes for seeing such untalented amateur works. but what on earth was happening that my ranking suddenly got elevated and changed its place??
onto the next question; How in the world did this happened?
well I realized that I couldn't hide myself from myself forever. whenever I tried to place Quantity Surveying at the center of my head, there were always little voices shouting from the deepest part of my heart saying architecture..I literally had no idea that I love model making as much as I hate those swollen eyes of being nocturnal for days. my foundation lecturers even appreciate my mock-up model (the first-try model we made before proceed to the real one) and you cannot measure how much effort I put for workmanhip in every cut out patent. -they are just heavenly relaxing!
so I called my mom on that one night and here, a piece of her speech I could reminisce 😂;
"if your heart longs for architecture then just go for it. if you feel like you're going to fail one day just remember how you were placed in AED the day you asked for language, padahal layak je dapat language. same goes to QS. and look at you now. survive and happy je kan? God knows you well.. plus nobody can say where the road goes. architecture might be hard on some people, but who can say that it might be your thing later on?"
😭😭😭😭 i don't really have things to say actually, but as to count my blessings, I hope that this entry will somehow inspire my future self again and maybe.. motivate some of you ehehe✨
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