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Sebab dah lama, tak cakap apa-apa.

 31 Julai 2022. 


baru jek balun maggie kari masak sendiri kat rumah tadi lepastu terus otw ke uia. sekarang tengah lipat kain and sort mana nak bawa balik rumah and mana nak tinggal. melampau gila kalau bawa semua baju ke kampus macam aku tak balik langsung plak. at least tinggalkan kat rumah nanti ada la tukang pakai cuma tu la kesian pulak umi hari2 hadap wardrobe room tu penuh dgn baju2. later la kena help her sort mana pakai mana tak dia cumanya penuh sbb sayang to let go baju2 lama kitaorg. entahla aku ni sejenis semua benda kena ada kategori, ikutkan hati lebih proper kalau tulis entry ni all english tapi ye la aku malas nak fikir, sudahla down sebab bahasa arab berhabuk, like legit dulu kalau nak cakap terus je cakap. now kalau nak cakap kena loading lama sikit lepastu tak cakap2. lepastu lagi la aku tak amik kelas english. cakap bila nak cakap je ha the rest speaking bahasa bangunan. kadang2 aku rasa malu nak cakap dgn sapa2 sbb entah apa2 la aku cakap ni if that makes sense?


cerita dia sekarang aku ni macam dah ngantuk, tapi kena lipat kain pulak. sambil2 fikir my fashion palette untuk upcoming sems, kalau boleh nak live simply je. hari2pakai kemeja tapi taknak la nampak noob sangat. sooooo itu la dia aku tengah mikir ni. pastu baru tadi tengok ex crush yang tak berapa nak ex update status- sedih woooooo aku suka dia dulu macam nak mati ye. siang malam zikir nama dia saje. sebab broken jugak laaaa result aku sem 2 haritu macam haram, produktiviti terpaling tak bagus sepanjang hidup setakat ni. now dah sem 3, and i would not let anything pun happen sbb kalau boleh aku nak la jugak merasa first class degree. we only live once so kali ni naik stage kali ni jugak kasi first class lepastu amik gambar dgn umi dgn papa heheh. tapi tu la aku ni nak mohon french, tapi dia outside my required credit hour so dia ibarat macam aku pun dah nazak amik course ni within 3 years, lepastu gatal2 nak tambah lagi beban. dah la ada exam and cannot be taken on final year. so nak give a shot tu mmg 2nd year ni je maigod, tu kalau boleh nak taknak kena sumbat jugak english sem 3 ni. 


sebabkan french, i need to convince academic advisor to proceed aku tambah subjek. cerita nya, lecturer ni kenal aku yeee since 1st day masuk degree lagi ofc la dia is notified dengan result akuuu. no tipu2, proudly telling you sem 1 i did great. sem 2 la haram kalau bukan ex crush aku tu dia tak cheat huwaaaa takde laaa aku broken namampus. tak weh kalau kata aku la kan yang start dulu kan kalau nak kata aku duluuuuu, EIHHHH dia yang tak confess2 lepastu bila orang lain nak masuk lineeeee, aku kena buat apaaaaaaaaaa?! dah la tak bagi hint ke apa at least aku nampak la jugak sinar harapan masa depan. ni tak, dah la tak bagi hint pape , kalau tak suka sekalipun, hint la something. aku ni mengalahkan mamat2 pujangga dah buat poem malam2 macam haram. setahun setengah ni bosskuuuuu qiblat aku menghadap kamuu. lepastu bila terserempak kat lift, sanggup weh dia amik tangga sebab taknak se-lift dengan aku?? tapi dengan  orang tu boleh pulak dia berborak, ohhhhh siap selfie lagi?! Aku pun tak pernah selfie dengan sapa2 dasar sampai gila hati - haa sebab ni, aku macam takde iman laaa crit aku teruk, aku takdee idea. kalau crit teruk, cerita dia mmg sampai ke anak cucu final laaa dia tak perform. memang pun, aku wallahi malu ye tengok outcome final aku. kelakar gila. cantik tang floor plan je, tapi form macam taik sikit cuma entahla masih boleh di mend tapi kalau dah sekarang baru rasa cam boleh, tidur je la lagi baik. benda dah keluar result dah pun- tak dean list.


so bila result aku teruk, academic advisor aku mcm persoalkan result dah turun pastu gatal lagi nak tambah subject, what in the world yang makes you think you will be able to cope dengan level of stress, lagi2 la 2nd year when your projects are getting bigger, wahai Raihana ku sayang? Awal2, aku rasa macam logik jugak kang nanti menyusahkan orang je aku ni jadual packed namampus dengan sedia maklum nature budak seni bina mmg tak tidur en. lepastu nak tambah kelas yang memang akan ada exam dan credit hour dia 3 jam ye lepastu boleh jadi kelas ni will be held on hari Ahad sebab base campus dia kat Pagoh ye sidang dewan sekalian, i is kat Gombak. Tapi, sejak2 broken ni semangat makin membara to go wild into my own age, to actually own it and utilize dia at its best. tak tahu la mungkin sebab umur 20 kan macam ada seruan yang membisik " you will never have this again ". so time muda ni la kena kaut semua benda selagi ada kudrat dan semangat. nanti tua boleh la rehat dan meninggal dengan aman sebab mmg dah hidup puas2. bila fikir, umur ni je larat nak amik french. umur ni lah yang i will remember pada hari tua, " oh dulu muda2 larat ye pikul credit hour yang kejam yet datangkan fruitful outcome ". hahahaha entahla aku ni cakap je aku tk tahu lagi la esok nak try call Kuliyyah Language tu kena add on berapa rm dalam academic fee lepastu kalau rege macam onz aku ugut jugak academic advisor tu untuk accept. cerita dia result Quran Sunnah aku ni menjerit ye kat slip result ni, menjerit macam aku tak pernah belajar agama. menjerit yang as if academic advisor tu esok akan gossip pasal dia - lantak kau laa nak. kuburkan je la jom sejarah dengan Quran Sunnah ni, entah subjek apa tah pelik aku markah aku semua kena cut separuh. 


okaylah tu je kot nak sambung lipat stokin semua lepastu nak order mask lagi, nak mesej si junior yang berminat nak amik Archi; aku time suka la aku promote, time cemerlang. time2 on cloud 9. tapi time final bila mata ni nak tersembul keluar aku rasa nak je buat petition pengharaman course ni. merosakkan jasad, akal & fikiran woi. lepastu nak mesej si Muaz ni pulak kena follow up documentation project. aku rasa aku kena cakap sikit kot... baru orang dengar ye la org dengar bila orang cantik jek cakap kahkah. nanti la aku fikir. lepastu senanya aku plan nak baca my heartbeat alias the 19th century punya short play tadi tapi ni dah malam gini ni haih dengan baju tu bukan nya dia nak terlipat sendiri so tu je la k la bye. 




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