🦋 It's Raihana & no one else 🦋

  For the night and day shout of separation yet in between  they sing the union the longed union -R, 19, what else is better than that?

  keep your tears if your lover  disappears like guests they will come again the next day - R, 19; everyone could be the guest 

 9th December 2021, Thursday,  it's Mashada's birthday, my pen pal from London hee - May Allah bless her always <3 . So right now we are just done with Land, Site & Survey. We legit got last minute announcement that we're going to be having a 'midterm'; As we all know, Architecture is seldom to have a written examination since our workload is already beyond the 24/7, non-stop and endless. So I slept early yesterday so I could wake up early this morning to revise all the slides from week 1 till week 8 ya. Like today, I finally understand what are we actually learning in this subject so alhamdulillah, only God knows how clueless I was, I take 6 subjects for this semester and the credit hour is around 20.5 something, but the university 's approximate is 19.5. So, that is why this blog is quite dusty these days hahahahaha.  Alright, I think everybody is well informed that I'm currently studying in an international university, hence I do have some internat...

  like the light love doesn't  enter the door it only  knocks the window - R, 19; be open.

  and the lion has the most scars -R, 19, 25 Nov 2021; fasabrun jamil

 Saturday,  I have 2 sketches to be done before Monday, pop presentation as always. 1 A3 climate sketch for Land, Site & Survey (LSS) and a few quick sketches for Design, because Dr Sufian is longing for our presentation I guess, hence he decided to have a pinboard presentation this Monday. :) As for LSS, let me tell you; I don't understand even a thing of what I need to do. We have foreigners in our group thus everyone is speaking to make the students feel welcomed- and I don't blame anyone for that. The only problem it's just they are not using a very proper English, so I'm quite in confusion :') The more I read the messages, the stupider I become. I think I need to do a bit of research myself so my group mates won't notice my existence if I come up to ask them silly questions.   I'm home everyone, eventhough next week will be the last week of lecture before the mid sem break starts. We had tomyam for dinner, and this is once in a blue moon event; I do...

  don't reply the goodnight let it continue as long  as it might -R,19, let's stay forever this way?

 4th November 2021, 11.37 am, Deepavali. Alhamdulillah, got my errands half settled today, couldn't be more grateful that I fell asleep after 7.30am and still had the chance to perform the dhuha just now.  Also, couldn't believe that I am actually here typing some stories to be shared hahahaha. I was hell busy since the 1st day I started my orientation. Too many things happened yet they are so miraculously to be captured on my blog. To be honest, I wanna write in sequence of the day like oh first topic: orientation, 2nd topic: class started, 3rd topic: new friends;  however this seems so impossible for me and I think I'm just gonna write whatever in my head and as for the passing days, we'll have a little throwback later on in Shaa Allah. I aspire to finish all my assignments by today, I have  1. Graphics: 3 drawings 2. Land, Site & Survey: Site Inventory Analysis (presentation) 3. History & Theory: Sketch of Mesopotamian Architecture (as attendance) 4. Desig...

  let yourself be your own  good companion -R,19; acknowledgement.

  despite the door of the words is locked yet the window to the heart is wide opened  -R,19; cz we don't say what we really mean.

  a very good start to an ending -R, 19. 

  and you are like a lifetime  in a second -R, 19; wallah, 22rd October.

  how the stars they will grow like my feeling until it blows then these shattered pieces I carve your initial right in my heart -R, 19.

 27 sept 2021; lagi 2 hari nak bday 2 onyet favourite saya HAHAHAHAHA. sekarang dah pukul 2.59 am, and I feel so fresh sbb baru jek bangun, dah tidur dah lepas isyak tadi hehehe.  shall we start the entry-  so I just woke up from my deep sleep, I went ahead open up my phone just like everyone else does hahahaha and read all messages. I don't know why but my what'sapp is always filled with new messages EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. I suddenly remembered my room mate said that " Raihana is a businessman whenever she wakes up, always with her phone replying all questions and hells there. "  😂😂😂😂😂 however that doesn't really matter, but I stopped at Farina's text that she sent me a name list of our groupings for orientation week- Yep, we are currently on orientation for our degree and I've never felt this indifferent and reluctant. despite the event is fully held online, I still force my little mind to work on a plan to escape all these. contrary to when I was in ...

  that little smile in your eyes sparks a burning flame inside me that could light up the whole world -R,19;  let it not  burn me when it is hot

  heart is where the sky  can be dined as we watch the stars  starting to aligned then the love dance gracefully in between -R,19

  take a peek from the little window of my eyes and thou will see the moon that looked so much like thee -R, 19; 20th September.

  like the whole universe you are a blessing that you grow flowers from running tears - R, 19; you are something.. to die for. 

  don't cage me in your heart free me in your prayers  may this wings of mine know how to fly back to its dear - R, 19, home is where the heart is.

  I heard your whispers to heaven asking God about me imagine if I declined the call how embarrassed I will be - R, 19; we both know who we are ;)

jum'ah barakah, 17th September 2021 - the day after tomorrow will be Zuzu's birthday. while yesterday was her love life's, Tengku Hassanal Ibrahim Alam Shah of Pahang. 😝 it's nearly 2 weeks since I got my degree offer letter, YESSSS ALHAMDULILLAH HAHAHAHA I finally got invited to experience another 4-days-straight of sleepless nights (looking for a longer period 💓), another more days to puasa suddenly (submission days are always exhausting that I'll fall asleep right after the deadline until maghrib XD) and to more and more of rejection and "BURUKKKK" from mon lecturers 😄 (since i wasn't born to draw but i WILL in shaa allah, we'll see 😏). if you followed my previous story about me being so dramatic about what i want to pursue in degree,  i mentioned that i wanted to go for QUANTITY SURVEYING so so bad. -definitely a decision to make after my ideas got rejected so many times, i was compared to other people a lot (direct & indirect way) and ...

  careful with your word for it swings like a sword thou may smile how the blade cuts me I may laugh how its philosophy breaks thee. - R, 19; for beneath is scarier

4 sept 2021, sat.  3 hours left before my birthday: honestly, as I grow up, the excitement of celebrating birthday started to fade slowly and instead of hoping for scrumptious birthday cake from my loved ones, I'll take my 1st step to spend my money on them. wouldn't that be better, to spend on something that can last be a man's mudghah?  last year, I spent my birthday at campus and how pathetic that I didn't really make friends with anybody else because we just enrolled the campus on the early August- so what to expect in just a month to have somebody wishing for you? hence I just bought some waffles using my money (yea I looked so lonely hahahaha) and then distribute it to my close fellas. also, I got some sweet wishes via social medias and that's how last year went. this year, I was planning to just order something from KFC for I've been craving this since I was in campus. plus, my mum and I just finished rearrange the furniture in our rooms thus there's ...

  from your tyranny I learnt mercy from you ignorance I learnt concern stay this bitter, my dear and I will forever  be here remain stranger -R, 19, we do it you way

 yolo it's already day 3 of me not updating anything on my what'sapp, I used to make status every single day, just to you know, to inform my loved ones about my condition, share the things I do etc etc. I don't know but I kinda started to feel like I lost myself just to please other people. mana tak nya, I myself genuinely express my big heart yet some of them take this for granted.  Even more disgusting is when I feel judged, ill-watched & envied. yo, I don't usually do this to all people except for my close friends so be sure to count you blessing to be in my circle.  i know taking advices from our surroundings is good thing but it's not a good thing man to be asked to be somebody else. oh well, I don't really love to talk much because we've known enough how people these days hate reading.  actually I just want to write here that my birthday will be on this Sunday so I wonder does my crush knows about it or maybe... is he going to do something spectacu...

 29 aug 2021 how are y'all Life has been very mundane and boring a bit right now that I'm kinda excited for the degree streamlining result to gush out from my email box. I also did a few research about undergraduate scholarships and felt a lil dizzy staring at the screen for too long.  anyway did you guys know, on the previous 21st aug God had taken world's most precious (if he's not, well at least mine most wonderful ) Don Everly. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm sorry if you guys are confused, let me tell you a secret, Don Everly was a singer, a very poetic  singer, a very handsome young man (literally appears after his poetic potential) are the only thing my heart can see 😭 he was one of the iconic duo throughout the century, The Everly Brothers. They were very popular during the 60s era (but it feels like it's timeless ya know?!)   I listened to their songs since I was 8, the song All I Have To Do Is Dream  all thanks to my mum for introducing me these gentlemen. Since t...

  entah do like sedap siot aku masak 😩 harini malas nak speaking hampa tak faham tak faham la maleh aku sibuk cakap bahasa orang lain, bahasa sendiri terbiar eh tiber ter-emo hahahahaha.  okay so cerita dia ayah aku ni kan garang gila. like garang sangat sampai aku kadang2 stress dengan diri sendiri sebab takut sangat. padahal bapak sendiri je pun.  😂 tak kisah la yang tu tapi time tu ayah aku ada mesej dalam group whatsApp, tanya lunch apa, sebab time tu dia otw balik and dia nak lunch kat rumah terus, malas nak beli2 dekat luar. tapi time dia mesej tu, aku dengan adik aku tengah tengok movie 😬 so mana ada masa ken nak baca and nak prepare masak kan. pastu masa tu dalam 20 minit lagi bapak aku nak sampai rumah, aku pulak baru jek baca mesej2 dia siot betul HAHAHAHA aku apa lagi pecut l keluarkan daging lembu keras beku mat dengan tak dipotong lagi.  so 20 minit dari sekarang, aku teruih rendam daging tu dalam air pastu mcm usik2 sikit ngan tangan biar dia cepat d...

  you are like  a living artwork on a blank canvas painted with the righteous blood  that keeps dripping down from the brush the same way as the heart beats -R, 19, 9th August, imagination; shawn mendes, you know who u are itu pun kalau tersinggah sini lah eh hehehe 😂

now let me open this door of my soul wider than the ocean for it is not fair if robbers can reside  but true lovers begging outside - R,19, no compromises . 

  just woke up and realized I am the candle the entire time - R, 19, sacrifice for idiots.

in seconds  you turned  this heart poisoned save your guilt if my words kill -R, 19, hope your day is as bad as mine ;;;))

  maybe the sun should  relinquish itself sometimes that how day time  fades away the night permitting the reality perishes the dreams - R, 19, 3rd August.

  that one day I thought I was drowned but the other day I realized I was actually watered - R, 19, die.. before dying.

  even if they tear  this heart into pieces then they will see  your names tattooed  on every layer - R, 19, andainya bulan retak seribu, bayangmu ada dimana2.

 "I will be here..." said the moon you are always up there, mister  and yet  between us not anything near - R, 19; stepping the reality  *disclaimer: you might not really get the meaning of not anything near in stanza 2; well, to make it clear a bit, usually we say 2 km far, 5 meters apart, 1000 light years etc. but in this poem, it wants to express that there's no specific measurements for the distance between the persona and the mr moon, alias TOO FAR that it can't even be measured!

 if falling hard got Alice  to Wonderland how would you tell of falling harder? - R, 19; cause people will never understand.

  people who come and go are like the ink stained at our hands they leave marks  on the pages- hideous one  and always will be - oooh it's the mask era everyone!, R, 19.

seeking you has gotten me lost for a while into the complicated world of poetry - i don't think I need a home, R, 19.

despite that one star is missing others still shine. - R, 19, for you who helped me with my PC at the bus; I'll never forget you ;)

rasa mcm baru jek masuk CFS haritu eh know2 dah 15 Jun 2021? where the heck the time has gone to? 🥺🌦️  so last week Mazliana texted me.. u might be wondering, siapa Mazliana ni? well, Mazliana ni member time sem 2 sbb stay campus sama2 kenz, dia from Allied Health Sc and she's somewhere in the high committee of MEDCY. MEDCY ni apa pula? basically MEDCY ni nama society untuk SEMUA course sc; BioSc, PhySc, Nursing, Medic, Dentistry etc.  jadi time tu malam Rabu last week, dia ketuk bagi salam kat whatsapp, tanya bizi kee and i was like takkan la nak jujur ngat kan but yea AED kids currently tengah final project so we can only predict that we all gonna lose our minds at the end of the semester. 😍 Mazliana minta tolong designkan badge untuk tutor MEDCY. as we all know, MEDCY ni such a massive society  sbb dia gabung SEMUA budak sc, jadi diorg ada mcm mentor utk siapa yang dapat GPA Dean's List and A exceptional untuk particular subjek sc, kena jadi tutor untuk student lai...

 1st June 2021, Tuesday, currently in jelousy >:( hm! * IDEA  is our society name. it is AED but read backwards. AEDi.  umm basically i placed the title before the championship and now it's already 2 days after the debate 🤣 so i still remember that day w here Asad texted me asking if i interested to join debate representing my course, archi & env design (AED, if ur new). when i was in secondary school, i did joined some debate competitions since i was 15 and i got the title 'best debater'. I was in that team with my bestfriend, Ainul and my forever friend, Hidayah. these 2 idiots were the best when it comes to talk-back episodes. still fresh in my mind how we got prepared; always 2 weeks before the competition, find legit EVERYTHING related to our motion, collect informations from buku karangan biar ayat power and figure out what will the opposition come up with. oh well.  now it has been nearly 10 months i am stuck in the campus. 10 months with no tv. 10 mon...

  JANTUNGKU BAGAI TERHENTI SEKETIKA MELIHAT BAYANGANNYA SIAPAKAH LELAKI INI? KURNIAAN TUHAN DARI SYURGA? FIKIRKU SEJENAK HATIKU MERONTA MAHUKU DIA DISINI NAMUN PANTASNYA HANYA DICAKRAWALA BAGAIMANA BISA AKU MENDAKAPNYA ERAT LAGI KALAU BUKAN  DARI DALAM HATI - R, 19, dekat tapi jauh :)

 25th may i guess, ke 24th.. entahla. cerita dia aku takde mood tau sekarang ni siapa yang baca ni mesti ckp raihana merapu sbb raihana sendiri pun tak expect she'll be writing this in manglish,  lepastu ada shortform2 pulak tu ya Allah tak professional langsungggggggggg tak layak nak jumpa sapa2. rasa mcm nak duduk dlm kempongpong rama2. entahla rasa dah penat, wallahi rasa nak muntah hadap video lecture hari2. lifeless gilaaa aaaaaa dah la dah 10 bulan stranded kat sini so kalau betul2 gila tu ha tak tahu la nak place the blame kat mana, pandai2 lah yeeee hadap. sumpah rasa nak terjun tingkap je sekarang. takleh bayang kalau dpt course archi kat degree nanti hm mati je la nak. i nak qs so bad tp mau berasap otak kalau semua subjek kena hafal, and no more model making & design :"( understanding islam best dah topik dia, ada lagi 18 video ya anak2 nak kena tgk before esok, 1 video ada 12 minit sapa larat seh nak hadap wallahi bunuh je la aqueeeeeee huaaa nak nangis betul2 ...

 Like fridays  These will pass by A bit of little white lies  And we are tongue tied How the sky can be so calm and blue No can say it might not rain later For me and you To more of our darkest nights We are our own sun To rise again Right after that -R, 19, biar diuji takkan ku berhenti. 

 1st May 2021, Ramadan ke 19 i guess.  I'm currently having a cup of Teh Tarik i got free of charge from bazaar. I'm also in the middle of collecting energy to cut the model board for i hate my previous serial plane model, so i have to redo it 😭 *no photo due to stupid line, coverage, website ughhhhhhhh IM SO NOT IN THE MOOD.  U might be surprised with this entry, seriously. Because tonight I'm going to write something i never wrote before. 🙂 To be frank with all of you, i was hoping that semester 3 will be veeeeeery friendly, very nice to me. I had my grades on previous semesters of core archi subjects where i got B+ for Graphic Communication and B- for Freehand Drawing. Despite all exceptional As i got for ICT, Maths for Built Environments, Understanding Islam and Presentation Skillz, B+s for Statistics and Built Environments, i still don't managed to get in the Dean's List. YES, BECAUSE OF THE CORE ARCHI SUBJECTS. TAKE MY WORDS THAT I'M SO BAD AT DRAWINGS, ...

  How the moon at its fullest glow As if the night knows These eyes will at last meet What the hearts greed -murni sungguh ciptaan Tuhan, R, 19 26/4/2021, tgh buat serial plane, lepas berbuka puasa :"D

  That you took  All my words away Makes silent the language  The deaf could hear. - R, dont want the conversation to end but how?, 18th April 2021

It takes time For the moon To be full It takes patience For the hearts  To be part - the moon knows about you, R, 19

Eyes open or eyes closed You will be the person I favor the most - R, 19

The desire of wanting you Is like being locked up  In a cage of freedom - you at all cost, R, 19, 15.4.21

They might say That my heart is broken But darling you Just make its door open - The way we see it, R, 19

All scars on your body Are like stars in the sky Each whispers me a story A true beauty Everyone could not deny - acceptance, R, 19

My mum cries a rain everyday In order to see me grow - so blossom and make her proud, R, 14th April 2021

Like how did you do? The ink i took From my black heart  Now leave me With a blank page - speechless, R, 19, 14.4.21

17/3/2021, 3.44 am .  I just ate Ramen in red packaging for the very 1st time so my tummy is not quite feel comfortable, as if it has tiny little flame inside.  By the way, i just posted new pics on Instagram, hoping that my crush will notice it, but i also hope that he doesn't. 😖 OH GOD, my crush recently followed me on Instagram. Before this he only can see my updates on WhatsApp status, but now huaaaaaa i feel so insecured. 😫 Mind that, around 3 weeks ago, i commented on one of Unjaded Jade's posts on Instagram. For those who don't know who she is, she's basically a british brainiac who wanted to enroll to Oxford but she got rejected. And in her youtube she displayed all her hardworks and real routines to excel GCSE and other exams.  So in this one post, she asked about which one's more important, money or..? So i replied to her post " i just want to make friends " & she did replied to me back!!!!! Tons of her fans says hi to me, and i got like ar...

To R, Sometimes i wonder Were we both drown in the same river Or was it just me Whose underneath was a complete empty  The warmth of your eyes Now forced my existence  To just die And be no more....................... - how i wish we could forget all i said that night, R, 19. 

 7 Feb 2021, Ahad, Week 9.  I dont know if you guys own that one friend who shares the same interest as you , like you dont really want to reveal about it to anyone, but your friend is the reason why you should embrace the inner you 😭😭😭😭😭  The 1st time i met Irfan was on English class. He was my classmate but only for English, as for archi core class, dia kelas sebelah je. My section was 207, and he was dekat 206.   I still remember how great he looked when he stood up in front of the class, introducing himself " Hi I'm Irfan Daniel bin Faiza, you can call me Irfan, Ipan, Fan, and anything in between.  "  He's also one of the top 8 students in my course, and i love to screen shot his masterpiece on WhatsApp status as my reference. 🤪 One day, he shared a video of him and his bestfriend (alias my friend oso), karaoke-ing Slam, Gerimis Mengundang. 🥺 since then, the song terus melekat in my head and i blame him for that.  Day by day, he posted ...

 3rd Feb 2021.  Lost my matric card at Al-Khalil,  Thankful that i didn't discover Jurjani, Khawarizmi & Ibnu Sina that Zulaikha and I did an ultimate adventure to EVERY level, corner and room setiap bangunan. 🙂 or else it would be a year hell for me searching for my matric card 😭.  *the photo we took during our visit to invisible balcony at Al-Khalil, and ya i just noticed that my matric card isn't where it supposed to be. 🙂 prolly missing before we took bunches of selfies.  It was 4.30 pm, i was sitting in the middle of my mahallah compound, listening to the singing breeze whistling out for my name.. 🥰  Re-charging myself a bit after 7 hari 7 malam perjalanan to the library, cuz i have to return the books I've borrowed last month. But then all of sudden my bestfriend (he is 😚) Afizul texted me about ICT. He asked me about my Microsoft Excel for he seemed unsure about what he did 😂.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA but i am currently enjoying my time under...

3 Febuari 2021,   Rabu, Assignment ICT.  Dengar je week 6 , u can imagine how hectic in the world it could be. Sebab asasi UIA 1 sem ada 12 wiks, so half week is equivalent to " cepat la oi lambatnya kau gerakk!! " ☺️ lepastuu semua lecturer mcm plan sama2 je kan nak bagi kerja sekali segedebuk 😚. Berakit-rakit ke hulu, berenang-renang ketepian, bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian langsung tak diaplikasikan 😑 like they give us kerja senang dulu lepastu susah semua hujung2?! And im not even grateful for that.  I am currently in week 9. So 2 weeks past the wik 6 tadi, and i have to admit wik 7 dgn wik 8 memang insane!!! We were given 2-week task so faham2 je la dia bnyak songeh ke tak. However though, i managed to settle down everything before semalam, hari Rabu, week 9.  Cerita dia, semalam i had so much things to do!! Before 10am kena submit Microsoft Excel punya exercise dah la ada 20 latihan gilaaaaaa.  Lepastu, kena submit Built Environmen...